This past week has been rough in many ways, but also a testimony strengthener. Changing companions was really hard for me and also accepting the fact that I would be training. A bunch of thoughts are constantly in my head of where to go, what to do, what to say.....and at the same time I missed Hermana Donoso so much. I still miss her. I have never missed someone so much until I had to say bye to her. My first interview with President Dyer when I first got here in the mission, I remember him telling me that I would cry when I had to leave my companion. I was like "Nah..that´s not gonna happen". Yeah....I cried like a lot. Like for three days straight. I was in a trio for a day because I had to wait a day until my companion arrived from the CCM to Bolivia. I looked at our half empty room and I just broke down. From having to say "See you later...like in 6 months" to someone who I have been with for three months really broke my heart. I haven´t felt this way since I had said my goodbyes in the airport. And at the same time, Hna Donoso left little gifts for me on my desk. A photo of us and a message saying that she had always knew that I would train real soon and that I would be able to do it. This whole week I underestimated myself and constantly worried that I wouldn´t be able to train someone effectively because I lack so much in the language and the confidence of myself. I prayed on my knees that very day in that half empty room outloud to myself and cried so hard asking God to help me to accept this calling as a trainer and that I may continue to have faith to do it. It was a lot of pressure and it still is...I was praying in English, but as I kept praying....it turned into spanish. I was laughing towards the end because I prayed in spanish without thinking too much. It came to me easily. After I prayed, I have felt so much peace and I thought of the blessings that He continues to give me. He really blesses me and trusts in me to do this...I went to a training for all the trainers before I picked up my companion, and it make me feel so much better. I have been chosen to train someone who will specifically need me to help her. There are only 7 trainers this cambio and I am one of athe 7. Out of 200 missionaries in the mission, I have been chosen. When I walked into the room for training for trainers, everyone asked if they have trained before and how much time they have in the mission. When I told them that I didn´t finish my own training, they were surprised and including the fact that I was a foreigner north americana that was still learning the language. They would say, "You are in training and you are training?!". But really the meeting made me feel so much better because I could really feel that I need to do this. Even if its really hard...Because God is really trusting in me with all these responsibilities to train and to teach the people in our area. He is trusting me to know the members and to know our area.
Uncle PJ, you have seen a special light in my mom and that light is the light of Christ. In Alma 7:11-12 in the Book of Mormon, it says it all. We have someone who understands our pains and sorrows perfectly. Families are forever through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Uncle PJ, you can be with us forever and the family we have before that have past and will come. You can know more of how it is possible. I can testify that our gospel gives us the happiness to feel that we do have a loving Heavenly Father that blesses us with families that are eternal. I wish I could teach you more about it when you will all be in Hawaii! Ahhhhh I wish I could be with you guys. Christmas in Hawaii is my ideal Christmas with my family. But I will go to Thailand with you guys when I come home :) Enjoy the beach, the air, the food, the people, and our family. When you are in Hawaii, make sure you visit the Temple in Laie and the church meetings with my mom. Its sucha beautiful experience really because its just like you said before uncle, that you have felt something so peaceful and so calming in the chapel when you went with Marvy and Lindsey. Search for that feeling again, and I promise that you can have the same light that my mom has and with that light, it will strengthen your family, your faith, and it will bring you so much happiness.